White House Chronicle

News Analysis With a Sense of Humor

  • Home
  • King’s Commentaries
  • Random Features
  • Photos
  • Public Speaker
  • WHC Episodes
  • About WHC
  • Carrying Stations
  • ME/CFS Alert
  • Contact Us

Barking Mad about Dog Justice

July 13, 2014 by White House Chronicle 3 Comments

You are embarking on reading something that is hopelessly one-sided, patently biased and completely partisan. It is plainly and simply a call for equality.

I want dogs in the United States to be accorded the same rights and privileges as they are in France.

I say that if you want to be born a pooch, do it in France. The French dog’s life is tres bonne.

You may think I am barking mad, but I have been studying pampered pooches for decades. In Britain, people have a screw loose about all animals. But in France, the dog is the overlord of all it surveys.

British dogs may get roast beef on Sunday, if they are lucky. Their French equals drag their owners to the patisserie whenever they feel the urge for an eclair or a napoleon.

British dogs get a bath infrequently in the family tub. But French dogs go to a salon. Sadly, in America, we outsource the grooming to a chain; not the same as a salon for Fifi the Pomeranian or Jacques the wolfhound.

But it is really at lunch and dinner when the French dog struts his or her superior situation: They go to fine restaurants with their owners, and sometimes — Mon Dieu! — eat their meals on the same china.

In England the lucky few four-footers can go to the pub and, with the publican’s permission, enter the hallowed premises. After some unpleasantness with the same publican’s large mongrel, which always blocks the entrance, he or she will find a spot under the table and hope for a bit of overcooked banger.

It is quite amazing how many dogs will show up in a restaurant in France and, after a few snarls, how fast they will settle down to the serious work of begging for food, or waiting in the certain knowledge that if they have the power over their owners to be taken out to lunch or dinner, delicious victuals will be provided with a loving, “Bon appetit, mon petit chien!” Last month in Paris, I saw a happy dog sitting on a banquette in a fine restaurant.

Dogs in France also are conspicuous on public transportation. You see them on the trains, both local and intercity, and the intercity airplanes. Some taxi drivers feel safer with a German shepherd or Rottweiler on the front seat. I have always thought a dog is superior to plastic dividers and other security devices in these uncivil times.

The French indulge their dogs and owners to such an extent that they have special sanitation workers who ride motorcycles equipped with vacuum cleaners, so that the good citizens do not, well, step in it.

But in America, dogs are defendu, not allowed to darken the door. They are classified as a health hazard. You can get away with dining with your best friend outdoors at some establishments. But mostly, the dear creatures must endure confinement at home while we gorge.

My fellow Americans, can this go on? Can we allow the pampered poodles of France to lord it over good ol' American coon hounds? Liberte, egalite, fraternite for the dogs of the U.S.A.! — For the Hearst-New York Times Syndicate
 

Email, RSS Follow
Email

Filed Under: King's Commentaries Tagged With: America, Britain, dogs, France

Comments

  1. Anthony SMALLWOOD says

    July 18, 2014 at 1:22 pm

    It is true that your chic french city slicker chien is spoilt rotten but so too, apart from access to bars and restaurants, is doggo americano and it is often not a pretty sight. Perhaps the Belgium way is a better model for doggy bar and restaurant etiquette. Well behaved diners and drinkers are very welcome, ditto their dogs and children provided they also behave. Our now very elderly golden retriever has helped us eat our way around some of Europe's finest restaurants and is always as welcome as we are when we return. Even in Alexandria we had few problems eating and drinking with our dog in tow, although almost always outside to be sure.
    Matters are more complicated back here in England; if you have a proper dog, real country pubs still think it as appropriate to drink with your hound as with your partner or best friend; but country publicans are sadly a dying breed and the townies who replace them, especially those plastering our green and pleasant land with ghastly 'gastropubs',tend to mutter 'health and safety' as they usher your dog to the door.
    But all is not lost; this evening we will be eating in a new restaurant where 'Fudge' the dog will also be welcome. And in a local pub where a customer objected to her presence, the prevailing mood was to throw him out and let the dog stay.     

    Reply
  2. hurricane screens says

    October 15, 2014 at 11:27 pm

    I do not know if it’s just me or if perhaps everybody else encountering issues with your
    website. It appears as though some of the written text in your content are running off the screen. Can somebody else please provide feedback and let me know if this is happening to them too?
    This might be a issue with my internet browser because I’ve
    had this happen before. Appreciate it

    Reply
    • Linda Gasparello says

      October 28, 2014 at 12:38 am

      Hello,

      It could be a browser problem. Each browser’s slightly different in how they handle HTML.

      Reply

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

White House Chronicle on Social

  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • Vimeo
  • YouTube
From Louisville to Ukraine, Two Women and a Partnership of Help

From Louisville to Ukraine, Two Women and a Partnership of Help

Llewellyn King

Today will be a terrible day in Malawi, where more than 500 died in Cyclone Freddy last month, and everything is flattened. Today will be a terrible day in Turkey and Syria, where thousands died in the Feb. 6 earthquake and cities are piles of rubble. And today will be a worse day in Ukraine, […]

The Next Big Thing for Electricity — the Virtual Power Plant

The Next Big Thing for Electricity — the Virtual Power Plant

Llewellyn King

America’s electric utilities are undergoing a revolution — one which is quiet but profound. Since Thomas Edison set the ball rolling, utilities have made electricity in a central station and dispatched it down a line to a consumer. It was a simple transaction: manufacture, transport, sell. Now it is getting more sophisticated. So long a […]

Irish Exceptionalism — They Punch Above Their Weight

Irish Exceptionalism — They Punch Above Their Weight

Llewellyn King

The Irish punch above their weight. That is why worldwide, on March 17, people who don’t have a platelet of Irish blood and who have never thought of visiting the island of Ireland joyously celebrate St. Patrick’s Day. That day may or may not have been when St. Patrick, Ireland’s patron saint, died in the 5th century. The […]

If We Keep Electrifying, We Will Run Out of Power

If We Keep Electrifying, We Will Run Out of Power

Llewellyn King

If you punch in “outage map” in a search engine, you will get a series of maps, ranging from the entire country to state by state and even smaller jurisdictions. These maps show electrical outages across the United States and territories, and they are within 10 minutes of actual time. The data come from the […]

Copyright © 2023 · White House Chronicle Theme on Genesis Framework · WordPress · Log in