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Tom Tancredo: Bomb Mots
He would deter Islamic militants’ nuclear attacks on the United States by threatening to bomb Mecca and Medina. Mexicans should start practicing duck-and-cover. Foul/Falling
Joe Biden: Talking Guy
Good new book, but what a title to frighten away the punters. Also Joe knows he talks too much, but he can’t shut up. Something to do with his childhood stutter? Rain/Cloudy
Barack Obama: Treading Water
He’s in the foreign policy deep-end, and Hillary Clinton is trying to push him under. Don’t worry, Barack, she’s the one who voted for the war. Obama wins on points. Fair/Rising
John Edwards: Our Crowd
Poor little rich boy is trying to be a populist. But he’s not gotten through to the minimum-wage crowd. They suspect a trick. Only his hairdresser knows for sure. Rain/Cloudy
Rudy Giuliani: Magic Date
Did you know he was mayor of New York City on 9/11? If you didn’t know, he was mayor of NYC on 9/11, you should know he was on deck on 9/11. Let the angels sing: “Giuliani was mayor of The Big Bagel on 9/11.” Sing we now. Foul/Falling
Mitt Romney: Moving Target
Mitt has flipped to please the base, and the base hasn’t responded. All that Massachusetts liberalism leaves it mark. Rain/Cloudy